“Finding” Self-Awareness Is Bullshit

I wish new ideas and concepts lasted longer for me.

I can go from never hearing about something, to thinking I’m an early adopter, to being immersed in it, to being slightly over it, to absolutely hating it with every shred of my existence.

The term “self awareness” is one of those things.

Sure, I agree that it’s one of the backbones of human existence. To “know thyself” is one of life’s greatest keys to progress and happiness.

(Ugh, sometimes the word “happiness” makes me wanna vomit, too.)

But unfortunately, because I’m personally so worn out of these cliche positive thinking terms, I find it almost unbearable to be around people who preach them.

How can you NOT know yourself?

I think once we’re about 25 years old or so, there is no reason to be thrilled or awe-struck by such basic ideas. I mean I get REALLY freaked out by people’s lack of effort to work on themselves and have some ownership.

It’s not so bad in my usual fitness world where it’s understandable for people not to have a clue what’s going on. Not everybody had a passion for fitness and athletics like I do, and I realize it takes a gigantic amount of interest to nerd out on something like that.

But when the topic is not about a niche like mine, when it’s just about LIFE in general, I get kind of appalled.

When such a large number of people find every “self awareness” social media post as life-changing and motivational I really gotta wonder…

How have you been in earth for at least a quarter century and NOT thought about yourself?

I mean I have high school friends on Facebook who can’t tell me what they actually enjoy doing. Like they don’t even have a hobby or a certain skill they might want to get better at.

I have known a WHOLE LOT of young mothers who have no idea what to do when their kids grow up and move out of the house. They literally forgot about themselves for 18+ years, even during the last 5 when the kid is hanging with friends and barely around to make an appearance for dinner.

Now believe me, I’m someone who LOVES words and quotes. Especially the ones that matter and bring new thoughts into the world. But the abundance of people who are mind blown by the mundane ideas of yesterday and the same sayings they first heard on Sesame Street 2 decades ago is astonishing.

I’m not angry or mad about it, but more kind of sad.

I am grateful that I have people in my life who are always in love with their projects, whatever they may be. And when they are in love with something meaningful to them, they work on it.

Don’t go all assumptive on me thinking that I said raising kids is not meaningful. I’m just saying that you cannot completely ABANDON YOURSELF for 20 years in the process.

I’d almost argue that if you are not in love with something YOU do, that is ONLY yours, then you cannot find this allusive awareness of self no matter how many posters of sunsets and fancy fonts you choose to look at.

Check points have to happen. Internal questioning and tinkering has to be practiced.

I don’t want to necessarily vomit at the sound of “self awareness”, but more the fact that this concept is still getting people going. Just like the words “happiness”, “fulfillment”, “abundance” and “success”. They all stand for things that I think should be obvious targets from birth.

If you get a little morning kick-start from reading an Instagram square telling you to “carpe your diem”, but then drive into the parking lot of a job you hate with a boss you hate while you count down the hours until lunch time, then you’re missing the WHOLE FUCKING POINT.

Being self aware is not knowing if you’re a morning person or a night owl. I mean, sure, that might be handy scheduling information. But it is not making you less miserable.

The more I think about the kind of people who need motivation, the more I think that lack of motivation is not even the problem.

Yes, the whole self awareness thing would be a good start, but that’s still not quite it.

Rather than seeking the right phrase or buzz word to fix the life you hate, you should probably start with doing some actual WORK.

Whether you get paid for it or not, what would you LIKE to work on?

Maybe that’s a super useful thing like raising money for your favorite charity or organizing your home or baking the best cookies in the world.

Or maybe it’s less obviously useful like buying clothes online or planning the perfect date or playing with your dog.

Literally WHATEVER you think is fun enough to do every day will help you figure yourself out.

You’ll learn how to struggle, how to tinker, how to solve, how to be more efficient, how you like to work, and eventually you would actually KNOW. YOUR. SELF.

You can’t just see an image on Pinterest or read a good quote and “inspire” your way into self-awareness.

You BECOME aware of the things you’re about when you actually give a damn and try getting better at something for a really long freaking time.

And like I said before, WHAT you give a damn about doesn’t matter so much as the fact that you actually give it.

So please, please, please…to anyone who wants to “find their true self”…stop looking around and start looking in.

Nobody, not even your kids or your parents or you husband, can find YOU for you.

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